Drop the Rock: Meaning, Character Defects, and How To Let Go in Recovery

Recovery from substance abuse is about far more than stopping the use of drugs or alcohol. Although many individuals entering recovery are ready to stop using substances, it is important that they also work on their deeper issues.

For example, the 12-step process encourages an individual to examine the patterns of self-defeating behavior and thinking that caused them to become addicted in the first place. This is where the concept of “drop the rock” is significant; it is easy to visualize but profound to use as a guide for letting go of character defects.

What Does “Drop the Rock” Mean?

The term “drop the rock” originated as a story within Alcoholics Anonymous before being put into print. The story describes a group of people who are swimming toward a boat representing recovery and a new way of living. Most of the group is able to make steady progress, except for one swimmer who had difficulty staying afloat.

Those already on the boat notice that the struggling swimmer is carrying a large rock under the water, below the surface. When they call out and tell the swimmer to “drop the rock,” the swimmer is reluctant to do so, having held onto it for so long that letting go feels unthinkable.

The rock, of course, represents character defects: the self-pity, fear, resentment, and old habits that keep a person weighed down even as they try to move forward in recovery.

The metaphor resonated so deeply within AA and broader 12-step communities that it became the foundation of a book. Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects, written by Bill P., Todd W., and Sara S., and published by Hazelden Publishing.[1] Drop the Rock has become one of the most widely read self-help texts in addiction recovery. Now in its second edition, it expands on the original story with personal stories, practical guidance, and daily meditations designed to support people working through the Sixth and Seventh Steps of the AA program.

What Are Character Defects?

According to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs, character defects are defined as the deeply ingrained patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that cause addiction and harm to oneself and others.[2] The following are a few common character defects found in individuals recovering from substance abuse:

• Self-pity: The feelings of being a victim and confusing suffering for an excuse to avoid taking responsibility or an excuse for continuing to use substances.
• Resentment: An unresolved anger toward someone else, or an anger that can create problems for someone trying to maintain sobriety, according to the Alcoholics Anonymous literature.
• Fear: Anxiety concerning future events, other people’s perceptions of you or your performance, or inadequacies can lead to someone avoiding taking action, to act dishonestly, and to relapse.
• Dishonesty: Someone telling lies to protect his or her ego or to avoid fallout for his or her actions.
• Pride and Arrogance: An inflated sense of self-worth that leads a person to feel that they cannot ask for support, cannot admit they are at fault, or are unwilling to change.
• Jealousy and Envy: Focusing on what others have creates negative feelings and takes away from being content and expressing gratitude for one’s own circumstances.
• Laziness: Someone who avoids doing the work necessary to attain sobriety by not actively participating in recovery, engaging with others, or being willing to take responsibility for actions.
• Intolerance: Being judgmental and without compassion; extending the level of compassion to others you expect to receive.

Everyone entering recovery has one or more of these character defects and will add others to this list throughout their recovery process. The goal is not to work toward being defect-free; rather, to work toward being aware of defects and willing to ask for help in letting them go.

The Sixth and Seventh Steps

In the Big Book, the Sixth and Seventh Steps deal with the process of working on character defects.

The Sixth Step asks members to be entirely ready to have their higher power remove whatever character defects they have. This is not a passive step; you need to be ready to do an honest, thorough self-inventory (usually with the help of a sponsor or sponsee), and to be genuinely willing to change. Many people find this step very difficult because some of their character defects (even though they create harm) are comfortable to hold onto or give them control. For example, self-pity may seem validating, and resentment may seem to be justified anger. Releasing these familiar patterns of behavior takes a great deal of courage.

The Seventh Step is the action taken after becoming ready, and humbly asking your higher power to remove your shortcomings. In Alcoholics Anonymous, this is usually a direct prayer. The prayer of the Seventh Step asks God (or whoever/whatever your higher power may be) to have every character defect removed that makes them incapable of being helpful to others or enjoying life.

For those who do not practice religion, the concept of a higher power does not have to be a god. It can be defined more broadly to be nature, the recovery community, or just any force greater than themselves.

Working the Sixth and Seventh Steps is not a one-time experience; it is a process. Old habits tend to come up again (usually when under stress), which means that the work of noticing and letting go of character defects will continue throughout a lifetime of sobriety.

The Ripple Effect of Letting Go

One of the most significant ideas discussed in Drop the Rock is that character defects not only impact the person who is carrying them, but they also radiate outward and impact their relationships, communities, and the overall recovery community. Bill P., Todd W., and Sara S. refer to this as the “ripple effect.”

For example:

• When someone holds onto resentment, it poisons every interaction they have with other people.
• When someone is continually filled with self-pity, they often cannot show up fully for their relationships or for service to others.
• When someone allows their actions to be dictated by fear, they may ultimately use manipulation to get what they want or completely withdraw.

However, when someone begins to work genuinely on releasing their character defects, the benefits of that person’s efforts will extend beyond just themselves. Relationships will heal. Trust will be rebuilt. The entire recovery community benefits.

For this reason, the AA Grapevine, as well as 12-step literature as a whole, emphasize character work as a communal practice and not just an individual practice. For most members, their spiritual growth in recovery comes through their relationships with others.

Practical Strategies for Dropping the Rock

Recognizing and understanding character defects are important, but actually putting that knowledge into action is not as easy. Below are just a few ways to help support the continuing work of releasing character defects:

• Daily self-examination: Many individuals in recovery choose to participate in a nightly reflection (sometimes this is guided by a daily meditation or workbook), or just sit quietly with themselves, reviewing their day and recognizing the character defects that showed up throughout the day. Recognizing character defects is the first step to addressing them.
• Working with a sponsor: Having a sponsor (someone who is further along in their own recovery and is helping guide a newcomer through the steps) helps provide a level of accountability and perspective. By sharing about character defects with one’s sponsor, one is able to diminish the power of the character defect as well as identify any patterns connected to it that they may be unaware of or unable to recognize from the inside.
• Prayer and meditation: One of the greatest tools available to anyone participating in a 12-step program is regularly asking their higher power to help them release their character defects. Regularly participating in prayer and meditation continues the process of surrendering and promotes spiritual growth.
• Service work: Serving others is one of the most effective ways to help combat self-pity, resentment, and self-centeredness. Becoming engaged in service work as it relates to recovery helps take the focus off yourself and develop a sense of purpose that supports maintaining long-term sobriety.
• Therapy: Many of the character defects that are addressed during the work of the 12-steps stem from issues related to trauma, attachment wounds, or are developed from learned behaviors, and should be reviewed regularly with a qualified professional. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is effective in identifying and addressing unproductive or harmful behaviors and thoughts. CBT can help a person gain an understanding of where their character defect originates and assist them in interrupting the behavior or mindset.

Drop the Rock and Professional Treatment

The “drop the rock” framework is most effective when used in conjunction with a larger recovery plan. For many people, the character defects that present themselves in recovery are so entrenched in them that they cannot be treated solely through step work.

Many factors can contribute to someone’s need for support from a professional, including traumatic experiences, mental health diagnoses or disturbances, and chronic, ingrained behaviors.

Your Recovery Can Start Here

Dropping the rock is one of the most courageous things a person in recovery can do.

At New Waters Recovery, we are here to walk that path with you. Our experienced team of medical and behavioral health professionals provides compassionate, personalized care designed to meet you where you are.

Reach out today and let your recovery start here.

Frequently Asked Questions About “Drop the Rock”